Friday, November 21, 2008

Grimace x Familia Skateshop 20% off sale...

3 comments:

B-dang said...

do you know what"Grimace" is?

Anonymous said...

That is an excellent question, B-Dang.

Grimace is an old McDonald's corporation ad character, but this is just his cover story. As for his origins, he first came to Earth in a spacecraft that orignated near the star Fomalhaut that subsequently crashed in the Tunguska River region of Siberia on June 30th, 1908. Grimace lost control of the craft while reaching for a Shamrock Shake. He kicked it with Grigori Rasputin for awhile (Grimace gave the mystic his heightened mental abilites, overpowering pheromones and incredible resistance to poison, puncture wounds, firearms, pummeling, icy rivers, etc.)who, with Grimace pulling strings behind the scenes, attempted an overthrow of the Russian royal family in what came to be called "The Purple Revolution". This failed as Rasputin was completely blowing it by being unable to keep his robes on and focus on the task at hand, not at gland. After this debacle Grimace travelled on foot Bill Bixby Incredible Hulk-style to Moscow where he served as Chief Interrogator for a spell, eventually rising high in the ranks of the KGB. In the 70's he successfully defected to the US and used his decades of interrogation and psychological intimidation tactics to successfully market products for the McDonalds Corporation. Many attempts on his life were made but none succeeded as Grimace's body consists of the same anti-matter that can be found in a black hole, rendering conventional weapons useless. A few examples of failed attempts include the 1963 assasination of President John F. Kennedy in Dallas forty-five years ago today(the KGB hired Lee Harvey Oswald and Charles Nelson Reilly to kill Kennedy and Grimace simultaneously. Reilly was on the grassy knoll and missed his chance at Grimace when he leapt off the motorcade to take a leak) and the '72 Munich Massacre (Grimace had been the "Official Anthropomorphic Figure Of The 1972 Israeli Olympics" and was training the wrestling team in an off-planet style that originated on Fomalhaut.) After "retiring" Grimace's public image in the '80's, Grimace grew numb with ennui and took the Illinois Bar Exam, becoming the first in his family to do so other than his uncle, Uncle O'Grimacey whose practice is based in County Cork, Ireland. O'Grimacey also crash landed on Earth, his crash site was the Silverpit crater under the North Sea near England. Grimace is in a non-monogamous relationship with Birdie The Early Bird. Grimace is currently "The Company"'s copyright infringement lawyer and will be contacting Familia by certified mail shortly concering the unauthorized use of his image. You can start shuttin' her down any time now. You can't avoid a legal "Mac Attack".

Who's grimacing now?

Chips

typoscura said...

whoa. chips. whoa. gnarly. and well played.